Monday, May 30, 2022

Dad Files: 1 Month Insights: Sleep Deprivation, Diaper Changes, and Goat Sounds

Baby can quickly go from calm or sleeping to DEFCON level screaming at the top of his lungs. This is common if not meeting previously negotiated feeding times with baby. He will make your ears pay dearly for tardiness.

Babies and goats can make similar sounds which may be why they’re both called kids.

You will frequently feel an insatiable desire to sleep. If friends, family, neighbors, or work colleagues are not interesting and to the point, you get a free pass for a few winks of sleep. Really it’s on them and will encourage more efficient communication.

You can get decent strength training done by lifting, holding and playing with baby who should be steadily growing and adding to weight resistance.

You will willingly allow another human to fart on you. Volume and length of flatulence is disproportionate to the size of baby. You will learn to distinguish between a dry one and a juicy one the later which requires a subsequent diaper change.

When completing diaper change and holding legs in the air to clean the backside, beware of the crack which can expel either more of what you just cleansed concurrent with diaper change or fart directly in your face. Bending down close to the danger zone is ill advised and done at your own peril.

When in public, you should always have multiple diapers on hand as well as additional clothing for both baby and you. Blowout risk is real.

Showering with the baby is an efficient way of bathing him. Having one parent hold and one bathe is helpful. When cleaning the front side, beware the water cannon which may go off at any time unannounced.

Grandparents, other family, or friends can provide a nice respite if you need a nap, eat a meal with hands unencumbered, exercise, shower, or to run an errand. Friends or family who offer to do house work or bring a meal are greatly appreciated and get extra bonus points.

Your wife will do some very selfless things. 

A happy, fed, rested baby with a fresh diaper can be sweet and a lot of fun.

In pursuit of His best,


Sunday, May 15, 2022

Dad Files: Insights After Two Weeks: Bodily Fluids, Feeding, and New Skills

Bodily fluids flow freely at all hours of the day. If you change a diaper and feel a sense of accomplishment, you likely will have the opportunity to repeat that accomplishment shortly, like inside of five minutes. Boys come installed with a water cannon, when changing his diaper note well and plan accordingly, it may very well find occasion to spray you, baby, swaddles, formerly clean clothing, walls, and anything else within a close radius.

If baby is smiling, it’s probably because he’s passing gas or otherwise refilling his diaper.

Tiny humans are capable of producing loud noises for long periods of time. Be the adult and don’t respond in kind.

Sleep deprivation can be brutal and it’s a good thing God gives kids two parents to tag team and share responsibilities. Prayer will help get you through the tough spots.

When feeding baby, don’t race to complete a bottle but pause at appropriate intervals. Your over confidence at having finished so quickly will bite you in the form of wearing half the bottle when baby spits it back up.

Burping is an essential part of feeding.

It’s possible to be peed on, pooped on, and puked on within a short time frame. Don’t assume the outfit you and baby plan to leave the house in are the ones you will actually be wearing. The amount of household laundry needs will rise exponentially.

Babies have sharp fingernails. 

The precious baby pictures that people post only tell half the story, baby will be grumpy and rage demandingly when hungry, tired, needing new diaper, while changing, putting in car seat, or for no apparent reason at all.

There are lots of skills to learn that you never knew you’d need to know. Bottle prep and feeding, diapering, swaddling, putting on and taking off tiny outfits with superfluous snaps and zippers, securing baby in car seat, skin to skin contact as a calming technique, singing lullabies, making silly sounds, and rocking baby to sleep.

When baby is calm, content, or sleeping, snuggles can be a lot of fun.

Meal trains are a great idea. 

Other parents are genuinely happy for you and remember the joys and challenges of raising their own kids.

Babies are a blessing and a gift from God. He gives wisdom for the journey.

 In pursuit of His best,


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