Monday, January 20, 2025

Dad Files: Toddler Days

Toddlers are loud almost all the time and run at full tilt. If in your exhaustion you leave them to their own self exploration, their natural state is entropy and every drawer will be opened, every door or cabinet will be opened and closed, if it has hinges it must be tested (yes there are child proofing mechanisms but some may be left undone when you retrieve items from them), any objects on tables will be thrown on the floor and plastic toys that can be banged on windows or the fireplace glass doors will be banged. Round objects especially will be thrown. Breakable objects are in dire peril. The cat will probably already have found a safe hiding spot but if not the toddler may chase her around the house. Christmas ornaments will definitely be removed from the tree and thrown or dumped on the floor if not outside of toddler’s reach. Without relative constant supervision a bored toddler can become destructive and your home will look like a minor natural disaster has come through. Sounds coupled with the mess will resemble the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes.

While a snuggly toddler can be fun, their high need for touch may become a bit much when they want to be held at meal times and wiggle and squirm as you attempt to eat. They’ll stick their hands in your face, cough or sneeze on you, and head butt you. Hopefully you can get a few things in their tummy too. 

Mealtime options that the toddler will actually consume can be compressed to very few options such as bread, pancakes, tortilla, bananas, yogurt, turkey, peanut butter sandwiches, and the occasional apple sauce or on rare occasions an actual apple or orange or even rarer a vegetable like tomatoes, broccoli, or carrots. Either at home or when going out to eat an activity box can be a saving grace and can include things like play dough, magna-tiles, crayons, cars, or other small items stored in a special toy box.

Toddler may either enjoy brushing teeth or fight you to not do so with arms flailing while screaming. The advantage of screaming is an open mouth to which you can apply a toothbrush. In the less confrontational sessions, he may actually enjoy it but watch out for the tongue which can consume all toothpaste or suck on the toothbrush like a lollipop prior to getting any on the teeth. There are fun songs you can sing to help with the process so be sure to check out options on YouTube where teeth brushing songs can be in the 100 million views range.

The exhaustion from months of nightly infant feedings may come back around as the toddler learns about sleep cycles and how to put himself back to sleep. Lullabies on a Bluetooth speaker can be a saving grace. If you allow toddler to climb in your bed after waking up screaming multiple times in the night, he will do all of the aforementioned lack of personal space things mentioned when eating in addition to kicking you, clapping, singing, and playing with the cat if she is also in the room. Rather than laying parallel, he commonly will roll around until he settles perpendicular to your head. If you don’t get the head side, you may get kicked in the head and if you do get the head side, head bumps can be a rude awakening. It’s unlikely you’ll get much sleep from this point in the night on. In general you should not count on sleeping beyond 6:15 on any morning with wake up calls also occurring frequently at 11:30 pm, 2:00 am, 4:15 am, 5:30 am. You probably will not use an actual alarm to wake you up for several years.

With potty training, it can be a long slow process. There may be joy initially at running around with no clothes on. As toddler begins to get the idea and that we go in the potty and not in the car or in your pants, he will verbalize these concepts but sometimes simultaneously with the moment he is watering the car seat. He may refuse to use the potty all day at daycare only to relieve himself halfway through the 10 minute car ride home upon announcing pp on the potty. There’s really nothing you can do at that point but resign yourself to a subsequent clean up. When toddler announces the need, the liquidation event is almost immediate. With number 2 you may have slightly more notice but if it occurs in the car you may be out of luck. 

If toddler is using pull ups and has gotten to the stage of pulling up pants and the pull up independently, it’s highly advised to check his work closely. Otherwise, the water cannon may not be sufficiently reinstalled in its proper place and can result in all clothing being soaked in the 10 minute ride to daycare in the morning which you get to cleanup while in the midst of trying to get to work. Toilet paper is a lot of fun so you will do well to guard the roll against the toddler’s over eager toilet paper tendencies. Potty time can become party time as you read books, sing songs, and toddler plays while waiting for deposits to be made. If you're not careful, toddler will manipulate you into being his personal potty entertainer. Your own privacy in using the bathroom will be fleeting as toddler is very interested in the whole process. 

Toddler’s cognitive skills will advance greatly and will surprise you at what and who they remember. He’ll sing songs loudly and joyfully. "Hickory dickery dock the mouse ran up the clock, happy birthday, Broccoli, celery, gotta be Veggie Tales, silent night, wheels on the bus, out jumps good ol’ Santa Claus Ho ho ho ho who wouldn’t go, Jesus loves me, I've got the joy, joy, joy joy down in my heart, five little monkeys jumping on the bed mama called the doctor and the doctor said no more monkeys jumping on the bed."

A remedy if he's bored and stir crazy is to follow him around as he explores outside. When you notice him being needy, destructive, or exhibiting undesirable behavior, sometimes all it takes is 5 minutes of undivided attention to get him back on the right track. 

Toddlers can be cute, fun, exciting, and sweet but they can also be selfish jerks throwing tantrums because they’re hungry, tired, want or don’t want a type of food or drink, want a toy, don’t want to share, get jealous, or generally don’t get their way on a time line of immediately. Strong emotions and screaming are frequent occurrences.

The crying as a baby was significant but the volume now pared with volatile strong emotions takes it to a completely different level. Tantrums when you’re well rested are manageable but can be overwhelming when exhausted and sleep deprived. There will be days, weeks, and months where you feel that this stage must pass soon or you yourself will soon pass.

Toddler will repeat the same thing incessantly until desire is complied with and may verge on a meltdown until it comes to pass. "My my my my MY MY MY! Want that Want that Want that Want that! Pita butter, Pita butter, PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER! Want that bana, a bana, a bana, BANANA! Wanna go outside, wanna go outside, Go Outside, Go Outside, Go Outside! No like it no like it, NO LIKE IT, NO LIKE IT. Read a book, read a book, READ A BOOK!" His favorite word will be “NO.” Are you all done eating? “NO” Do you want more to eat “NO.” The answer to 90% of questions will be NO. He'll also have phrases that he repeats like "want to go back to bed" but never wants to actually go to bed. 

A regular activity will be climbing and jumping on tables, couches, and other objects he can fall from but seem like a lot of fun. Any trip to church must also be accompanied by a visit to the playground. The playground is one of his favorite activities and he also likes if you go down the slides too. Beware of the way up high playground equipment since toddler will want to climb up but is not fully ready for the heights quite yet. 

Toddler will surprise you with his door opening ability including locking and unlocking the door. Install childproof covers on door knobs or you may have an escapee. Getting chores done like loading or unloading the dishwasher while supervising toddler is theoretically possible but dramatically increases the amount of time to complete the task especially if toddler “helps.” Outdoor tasks are even more challenging and probably not advised with the added factor of toddler walking or running around the corner. 

He will love to see airplanes, helicopters, trains, school buses, garbage trucks, fire trucks, ambulances, and construction equipment in operation. Many toys have annoying songs and loud sounds. If the toys "lose" their batteries, the office of proper parental decisions will not cite you. For emergency vehicle toys with sounds, it's highly recommended to keep them out of your car or you may think you're getting pulled over when it's really just the backseat play police.

Exhaustion seems to be an almost constant state. Be sure to trade off responsibilities with your spouse and give each other breaks. Raising a toddler is a team sport. There are times when you wish you could capture the moment in a bottle and revisit it over and over and other times that may be funny in retrospect but are really really hard in the midst of it. There's a part of me that would like to be able to parachute into revisiting days or moments that are really fun, loving, and meaningful but perhaps that's the blessing of getting to be a grandparent. Enjoy the sweet snuggles, cute things they say and do, high energy, and excitement and hang in there with a lot of prayer.

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

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