Jump in Bed You Sleepy Head Song

Every night time routine needs a close out song to encourage your child to get in bed. There are lullabies and those can work for certain purposes but an enthusiastic and fun song can be effective at engaging a more willing participant. This has been popular at our house over the past several months.

Jump in bed you sleepy head it's time to go to sleep

Jump in bed you sleepy head it's time to go to sleep

Day is gone and night has come so now we say good night
Jump in bed you sleepy head it's time to go to sleep

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

 

Dad Files: Age 2.5 to 3.5 Tantrums, Potty Training, Communication Skills, Soccer, Boy Energy, Holidays, Precious Moments

While each stage of raising a child has its challenges, for me, age 2.5 to 3.5 years old has been the most challenging so far. There is the common adage of the days are long but the years are short. I also think of it as things go fast and slow. In the middle of nuclear meltdown tantrums, potty training difficulties, constant correction, and exhaustion from sleep deprivation, its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel or even if there is a light. But there are also extremely sweet, cute, and fun moments that you want to hold on to forever. 

As you see your child cognitively developing and connecting dots more and more and maturing emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically there can be moments of wanting to pause time and say "Wait, wait don't grow up too fast; I love this part of who you are and the blessing of who you're becoming. Yes, I want you to be able to go to the potty by yourself, dress yourself, clean up after yourself, and many other things but there is so much in this phase that is fun and adorable and precious." It's in those moments that I try to find a little more energy and dig deep to engage with and connect with him even when I'm beyond tired. 

Making Banana Bread

When he's having a hard time and acting out, if I can give him 10 minutes of undivided attention, it goes a long way to filling his love tank. When I'm groggy and still trying to wake up and would like 15 minutes to myself in the morning and he's whining and screaming and generally grumpy because he's awake and wants to be held while I make him breakfast and then sit with me while we both try to eat, I let him do that most of the time. I know this stage will pass and don't want to miss a moment. To capture pieces of it, I sometimes record him talking so I can revisit moments when he's older. 

I've heard people say "use your words" in a humorous context in the past but have a much deeper and more visceral understanding of it now. When you know your child has the ability to express his needs and desires but chooses instead variations on a shaking/screaming tantrum, whining, crying, yelling in anger or exaltation, it can be maddening. "I don't want it, I want it" is also a communication technique of the child as he works through the emotions and what he actually wants or doesn't want. This may be applied to food, toys, bath time, bed time, school, church, daddy, mommy, the cat or other people, items, or events. Related to this is the whiplash of going from a rage filled screaming fit to happy little guy 5 minutes later which can be staggering. 

Allen & Son Inc. building fine log cabins

"We're NOT going to school" may sometimes be a refrain when driving in the car as he expresses strong opinions on where you're driving. Another is “it’s not bedtime, IT’S NOT!" When enthusiastic boy energy is on display, “use your inside voice" is a phrase that finds its way into these contexts. Other common phrases that we'll say are "use your hands to help your feet" when putting on or taking off clothing and "is that a good choice or a bad choice?" Rather than disagree when he makes some statement or expresses his opinion, simply repeating his words can keep the peace even if there is no obligation to carry through on a demand. There's probably a lot to be learned from this form of validating someone's communication and making them feel heard.

Giddy up

Playground Time

Daycare dropoffs can become really challenging at times during this stage even though he mostly enjoys school and he'll sometimes meltdown in the hallway while taking him to his class. This is primarily because he just doesn't want to leave you. Tattling and excuses while calling out the fault of another child can also become prominent and as a parent you can get frustrated because so and so did this or so and so did that even though so and so has never been to your house and your child hasn't seen him in a week or more. 

Waterfall adventure

Child's capacity to open doors during this stage improves meaningfully so if you haven't already installed a childproof door knob apparatus, this is greatly encouraged or else he may be outside before you are aware. Related to this is his running and fast walking capability which makes any outside time vital to keep eyes on him at all times. On days when it has rained or the ground is otherwise wet, a large percentage of puddles must be jumped in. Bonus points if done immediately before getting in the car and putting feet on seats while climbing up.

Snack time: milk & chocolate chips? 

If child is in another part of the house, you will learn to keep an ear out for normal boy sounds and if it becomes quiet should go check in case he is into something he should not be. In several areas around the house you may find hand and finger smudges along the lower part of the walls which are especially notable on the journey up or down stairs. If there is a preference for climbing up or down stairs while leading mainly with one leg, the Dr. Suess line "left foot, right foot, left foot, right feet in the day feet in the night" can be of assistance in engaging the less favored leg. A climbing song like this may also help.

Potty training may take much longer than you ever thought possible and while you may have graduate degrees, composed a symphony, done brain surgery, can do advanced calculus, design financial derivatives, or passed the medical/bar exam, teaching another human to use the potty can be one of the most challenging things you've ever attempted. It's so frustrating when you know that your child has the skills but just can't be bothered to go to the potty when he needs to go. It is amazing though as you do begin to see progress however gradual and his excitement at going to the stand up potty. At some point, you'll reach a phase when there are very few accidents and that feels life changing. To the greatest extent possible, making it fun is really helpful and using songs, reading books, bringing a toy, giving him a potty watch with an alarm, and using funny voices for the potty are all techniques that can help. 

Hiking with sunflowers

Team sports may or may not be a hit at this age. We tried 3 year old soccer at a local church and while well intentioned, I don't think the program designers fully thought through having a child go through relatively lengthy warm up drills. Even if they're fun such as hop like a frog or run like a cheetah without using a soccer ball, your 3 year old is there to play soccer and when he sees the goals and balls elsewhere may run away from the group in pursuit of kicking a soccer ball or other interests. As a parent, this will likely be much funnier in retrospect than in the moment as you're sprinting across the field to corral and redirect him back to the team and encouraging him to listen to and do what coach says. It is also a less than amazing experience when most of the teammates are engaged in the prescribed activity while your child refuses to participate and is laying on the ground. 

First soccer season

Once the team gets around to kicking the soccer ball, the outlook improves. However, in scrimmage, your child may be furious when another child kicks the ball away from him and exhibit his unfiltered emotions in big ways. At one time, among 8 kids on the field that should have been scrimmaging, some were off drinking water, some were sitting or laying on the ground, some wondered elsewhere, and only one was actually still engaged in the game. A good way to describe this phase of athletic development is mob ball spurred on by moments of mass chaos. 

If you try to exercise while in the same room with child, he may want to get involved in the process and

Saturday Morning Pickleball

climb on or lay on top of you. While this adds some additional weight resistance, it can interrupt the normal routine and you may need to creatively do squats while holding the child as the weight, pushups with child laying on top of you, or crunches while using child as an up and down partner. Other athletic related activities that he may enjoy include going to the tennis/pickleball court and either hitting balls with you using the paddle or throwing and chasing balls around the court when his interest diverts. If there is an accessible outdoor basketball hoop, he will also have interest in going to see it and throwing it himself or encouraging you to shoot a basketball, soccer ball, or other bouncy balls into the hoop.  

When brushing teeth, the child may be more interested in eating the toothpaste than applying it to his teeth with a toothbrush so this requires substantial direction and navigating around the tongue by the supervising adult. There are numerous teeth brushing songs available to assist in entertaining and maintaining focus during this time. As child gets older, his teeth brushing skills will improve though he will still require close monitoring and assistance. We've found recently that an electric tooth brush has actually been a fairly successful tool that he can mostly operate himself. Figuring out that you spit out rather than swallow toothpaste is a skill that will require ongoing training and development. 

Snow day!

Child will have much more interest and engagement with holidays. The decorations of each hold special interest and he will talk at great length about the skeletons and Halloween, the turkeys, Christmas lights, the manger, angels, and Valentines. When he sees flags after learning about super heroes, he will sometimes reference the Captain America flag. Also related to super heroes is the interest in putting on capes and masks and running around the house with daddy (who is also clad in a cape and mask) and exhibiting loud noises in pursuit of general super hero activities. 

Our little pumpkin

Polar Express

Happy New Year!

Child usually loves the kitty and may aggressively play with her and chase her around the house yelling "KITTY!" as he gleefully runs after her. It's important to teach gentle hands and being kind to the kitty even if the cat is very patient and tolerant. 

During nap time, there will come a point that he begins to transition away from sleeping and it turns into a private play session. If you have a video monitor,  you can observe all stuffed animals, books, and toys brought into bed with child as he plays and sings for the next 1 to 2 hours. Occasionally this will coincide with an actual nap which makes for a fun picture on the video monitor. There is still value in independent quiet time for you and him even if he does not sleep. If he protests vociferously and simply will not agree to go to his room without screaming, an alternate nap option can be to bring him into a family room and say that we're going to rest our bodies. This can sometimes be a more acceptable communication technique of getting nap/rest time to actually occur.

#NapAnywhere

Child's desired timeline and yours as it relates to bed time routine activities can vary significantly. You will notice glacial speed when eating dinner, walking up the stairs, playing with anything along the way, asking to be picked up or to ride on daddy's shoulders. Child will become skillful at manipulating and requesting one more book, one more song, playing with stuffed animals, being silly, jumping up and down in bed, anything to squeeze another minute/second out of the evening. I actually enjoy the bedtime routine but it comes at the part of the day when you're most tired and just need a few minutes of peace and quiet to yourself so prolonging it can feel hard even though there are also really fun, sweet, and precious moments that you wouldn't trade. It's especially heart warming when your child engages in praying himself and thanks God for different people, events, or things in his life.

Singing Silent Night at Church

Hang in there, post 3.5 years old things begin improving a bit and you'll experience moments of normal human interaction with child. 

For the last Dad Files: Toddler Days post, check out this link.

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

Dad Files: Toddler Days

Toddlers are loud almost all the time and run at full tilt. If in your exhaustion you leave them to their own self exploration, their natural state is entropy and every drawer will be opened, every door or cabinet will be opened and closed, if it has hinges it must be tested (yes there are child proofing mechanisms but some may be left undone when you retrieve items from them), any objects on tables will be thrown on the floor and plastic toys that can be banged on windows or the fireplace glass doors will be banged. Round objects especially will be thrown. Breakable objects are in dire peril. The cat will probably already have found a safe hiding spot but if not the toddler may chase her around the house. Christmas ornaments will definitely be removed from the tree and thrown or dumped on the floor if not outside of toddler’s reach. Without relative constant supervision a bored toddler can become destructive and your home will look like a minor natural disaster has come through. Sounds coupled with the mess will resemble the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes.

While a snuggly toddler can be fun, their high need for touch may become a bit much when they want to be held at meal times and wiggle and squirm as you attempt to eat. They’ll stick their hands in your face, cough or sneeze on you, and head butt you. Hopefully you can get a few things in their tummy too. 

Mealtime options that the toddler will actually consume can be compressed to very few options such as bread, pancakes, tortilla, bananas, yogurt, turkey, peanut butter sandwiches, and the occasional apple sauce or on rare occasions an actual apple or orange or even rarer a vegetable like tomatoes, broccoli, or carrots. Either at home or when going out to eat an activity box can be a saving grace and can include things like play dough, magna-tiles, crayons, cars, or other small items stored in a special toy box.

Toddler may either enjoy brushing teeth or fight you to not do so with arms flailing while screaming. The advantage of screaming is an open mouth to which you can apply a toothbrush. In the less confrontational sessions, he may actually enjoy it but watch out for the tongue which can consume all toothpaste or suck on the toothbrush like a lollipop prior to getting any on the teeth. There are fun songs you can sing to help with the process so be sure to check out options on YouTube where teeth brushing songs can be in the 100 million views range.

The exhaustion from months of nightly infant feedings may come back around as the toddler learns about sleep cycles and how to put himself back to sleep. Lullabies on a Bluetooth speaker can be a saving grace. If you allow toddler to climb in your bed after waking up screaming multiple times in the night, he will do all of the aforementioned lack of personal space things mentioned when eating in addition to kicking you, clapping, singing, and playing with the cat if she is also in the room. Rather than laying parallel, he commonly will roll around until he settles perpendicular to your head. If you don’t get the head side, you may get kicked in the head and if you do get the head side, head bumps can be a rude awakening. It’s unlikely you’ll get much sleep from this point in the night on. In general you should not count on sleeping beyond 6:15 on any morning with wake up calls also occurring frequently at 11:30 pm, 2:00 am, 4:15 am, 5:30 am. You probably will not use an actual alarm to wake you up for several years.

With potty training, it can be a long slow process. There may be joy initially at running around with no clothes on. As toddler begins to get the idea and that we go in the potty and not in the car or in your pants, he will verbalize these concepts but sometimes simultaneously with the moment he is watering the car seat. He may refuse to use the potty all day at daycare only to relieve himself halfway through the 10 minute car ride home upon announcing pp on the potty. There’s really nothing you can do at that point but resign yourself to a subsequent clean up. When toddler announces the need, the liquidation event is almost immediate. With number 2 you may have slightly more notice but if it occurs in the car you may be out of luck. 

If toddler is using pull ups and has gotten to the stage of pulling up pants and the pull up independently, it’s highly advised to check his work closely. Otherwise, the water cannon may not be sufficiently reinstalled in its proper place and can result in all clothing being soaked in the 10 minute ride to daycare in the morning which you get to cleanup while in the midst of trying to get to work. Toilet paper is a lot of fun so you will do well to guard the roll against the toddler’s over eager toilet paper tendencies. Potty time can become party time as you read books, sing songs, and toddler plays while waiting for deposits to be made. If you're not careful, toddler will manipulate you into being his personal potty entertainer. Your own privacy in using the bathroom will be fleeting as toddler is very interested in the whole process. 

Toddler’s cognitive skills will advance greatly and will surprise you at what and who they remember. He’ll sing songs loudly and joyfully. "Hickory dickery dock the mouse ran up the clock, happy birthday, Broccoli, celery, gotta be Veggie Tales, silent night, wheels on the bus, out jumps good ol’ Santa Claus Ho ho ho ho who wouldn’t go, Jesus loves me, I've got the joy, joy, joy joy down in my heart, five little monkeys jumping on the bed mama called the doctor and the doctor said no more monkeys jumping on the bed."

A remedy if he's bored and stir crazy is to follow him around as he explores outside. When you notice him being needy, destructive, or exhibiting undesirable behavior, sometimes all it takes is 5 minutes of undivided attention to get him back on the right track. 

Toddlers can be cute, fun, exciting, and sweet but they can also be selfish jerks throwing tantrums because they’re hungry, tired, want or don’t want a type of food or drink, want a toy, don’t want to share, get jealous, or generally don’t get their way on a time line of immediately. Strong emotions and screaming are frequent occurrences.

The crying as a baby was significant but the volume now pared with volatile strong emotions takes it to a completely different level. Tantrums when you’re well rested are manageable but can be overwhelming when exhausted and sleep deprived. There will be days, weeks, and months where you feel that this stage must pass soon or you yourself will soon pass.

Toddler will repeat the same thing incessantly until desire is complied with and may verge on a meltdown until it comes to pass. "My my my my MY MY MY! Want that Want that Want that Want that! Pita butter, Pita butter, PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER! Want that bana, a bana, a bana, BANANA! Wanna go outside, wanna go outside, Go Outside, Go Outside, Go Outside! No like it no like it, NO LIKE IT, NO LIKE IT. Read a book, read a book, READ A BOOK!" His favorite word will be “NO.” Are you all done eating? “NO” Do you want more to eat “NO.” The answer to 90% of questions will be NO. He'll also have phrases that he repeats like "want to go back to bed" but never wants to actually go to bed. 

A regular activity will be climbing and jumping on tables, couches, and other objects he can fall from but seem like a lot of fun. Any trip to church must also be accompanied by a visit to the playground. The playground is one of his favorite activities and he also likes if you go down the slides too. Beware of the way up high playground equipment since toddler will want to climb up but is not fully ready for the heights quite yet. 

Toddler will surprise you with his door opening ability including locking and unlocking the door. Install childproof covers on door knobs or you may have an escapee. Getting chores done like loading or unloading the dishwasher while supervising toddler is theoretically possible but dramatically increases the amount of time to complete the task especially if toddler “helps.” Outdoor tasks are even more challenging and probably not advised with the added factor of toddler walking or running around the corner. 

He will love to see airplanes, helicopters, trains, school buses, garbage trucks, fire trucks, ambulances, and construction equipment in operation. Many toys have annoying songs and loud sounds. If the toys "lose" their batteries, the office of proper parental decisions will not cite you. For emergency vehicle toys with sounds, it's highly recommended to keep them out of your car or you may think you're getting pulled over when it's really just the backseat play police.

Exhaustion seems to be an almost constant state. Be sure to trade off responsibilities with your spouse and give each other breaks. Raising a toddler is a team sport. There are times when you wish you could capture the moment in a bottle and revisit it over and over and other times that may be funny in retrospect but are really really hard in the midst of it. There's a part of me that would like to be able to parachute into revisiting days or moments that are really fun, loving, and meaningful but perhaps that's the blessing of getting to be a grandparent. Enjoy the sweet snuggles, cute things they say and do, high energy, and excitement and hang in there with a lot of prayer.

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

See https://www.pursuitofhisbest.com/2023/11/dad-files-months-17-18-painting-with.html?m=1 for the last edition of the Dad Files if you need to catch up.

Dad Files Months 17-18: Painting with Spaghetti, The Scientist, and Tantrums

With entry into the full on toddler phase comes the continued strong opinions and tantrums. These can include the bucking bronco, arms flailing, flinging himself while hands filled with poop diaper changes and may require multiple adults to get him properly changed. There can be a roller coaster of emotions as sometimes he wants you to hold him and 5 seconds later he pushes you away and then implores you to pick him back up immediately after putting him down. If you and your wife try to hug each other, he may express jealousy or push you away if she's holding him and you try for a group hug. On the especially grumpy days, a visit outside with a change of scenery or taking him for a walk can reset his mood and makes for a much better experience all around.

With lots of doctor and urgent care visits he may begin to develop an aversion to medical providers and will express great displeasure with them even being in the same room as him. Distraction tactics like playing with a toy, singing songs, etc. may need to be employed to allow nurses and doctors to check his pulse or use their stethoscope to examine him.

It's probably true throughout all of life but especially at this stage the toddler is essentially a scientist who is exploring, experimenting, and figuring out the world. What is edible, how do drawers open and close, if I yell what response does that get me, learning words to communicate and name different items, learning how to balance and walk while standing up, how to pet the kitty with gentle hands, and how to turn the sippy cup so he can get the last bit out using a straw.

With language development, you will see a progression from single words and unintelligible sounds to unrelated words grouped together such as "all done moo kitty," to two word sentences with meaning such as "no mama" "no dada." When putting him to bed if he wants you to leave and says "bye bye" and you haven't quite finished your special time with him, it can be a little sad.

Daylight savings time does not exist in the toddler's world. What previously was a 5:45 am wake up time for him will become a 4:45 am wake up due to an unrelenting circadian rhythm. You can get him back on track but it will take some grumpiness late in the day to push his bed time late enough so he'll sleep according to the new time.

In helping him learn to walk while giving him your fingers or hands to hold on to, you can direct his path similar to leading someone in dancing. Otherwise, he'll roam free range around whatever area you're in. This new mobility will also allow him to take energetic and noisy laps around the house while holding on to a horse, shopping cart, or other object with wheels. Those first few independent steps are exciting for everyone but will require lots more practice. He can get a little over eager when walking between parents and it will seem more like controlled falling at times.

His new found strength and fine motor skills can result in pulling off a bib if that doesn't suit his preference. This also can turn dinner time into a finger painting with spaghetti art project that covers toddler, his plate or tray, the floor, walls, you and anything else he flings sauce at. Taking off articles of clothing to save on additional laundry work is not a bad idea. It's also highly recommended to change out of work clothes before feeding him any sauce oriented meal.

Swimming lessons can be fun, water torture, or somewhere in between. You will learn many songs as you splash and play, splash and play and dunk the toddler under the water. Swim lessons at this age are supposed to help develop core strength, coordination, comfort level with the water, and how not to drown.

It's lots of fun to see all the new developments he's making but they also bring new challenges. Keep savoring each moment, each day, and record videos and take pictures since it passes quickly. Love him, sing to him, read to him, play with and pray for him. The Lord is on the journey with you and will guide you in it.

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

Dad Files Months 14-16: Tiny But Sharp Teeth, Uh Oh, and Strong Opinions

Baby will make some definite transitions to the early toddler stage. This can involve strong opinions as to how the world should be including food that will pass agreeably into his belly, willingness towards bedtime or naptime, snuggling or not, and what he wants to play with. Communication capability is growing as he develops more words as well as arm control with direction of desired or undesired objects by pushing and pulling. Words include No, woah, wow, all done, kitty (he loves the kitties, chasing them, petting them, and watching them run around), uh oh, more, yai, boo, nay, moo, up, thank you, didi, dada, daddy, mama, baba, hi, hey, bye, ball, go (the oh sounds are especially cute).

In regards to eating, there will be things he really likes and others that he really doesn’t. These can switch categories on a daily basis. When he’s done eating or doesn’t want something, he may pick it up and deliberately drop it or throw it on the ground. When coupled with him saying “uh oh” it will call into question if he comprehends the difference between “uh oh” and “on the floor on purpose.” Try not to laugh.

When holding baby, you may suddenly feel a sharp piranha bite sensation on your shoulder, arm, or other body part near baby’s mouth. This isn’t malicious but everything including you are fair game as his chompers explore the world.

As he cruises, pulls up to tables and see objects whether books, food, or breakable things he will attempt to throw or push everything on the floor with clean plate syndrome vigor. Be forewarned and secure items that would have a better resting place than the floor. On the positive side, this increased hand and arm control introduces new possibilities for activities with balls which is fun to play with him.

A book we read said that this is best understood as the caveman stage and communication in short words or phrases is most effective with the goal to match and capture the emotion. He may hit objects, tables, bang toys, plates, cups, or silverware, drop or throw things and generally make a lot of noise. Teaching him to use his gentle hands will go far in keeping yourself, cats, and breakable objects in a healthier state. Loud yells when he’s excited about life, mad, or doesn’t want to go to bed also support this theory.

Toys will occupy every room of the house and if you're not diligent with pick up and restoration to their original location, bright colored plastic will infest every surface of your home with an obstacle course winding throughout. There are more toys than you would imagine that make loud and annoying sounds or sing cloyingly cringy songs. No judgement if the batteries conveniently find their way outside of the toy or it's turned off permanently.

As he’s learning to walk, it’s fun to watch him push a table or chair across the room. With significant mobility now, stairs must be monitored closely. On this topic, baby can surprise and scare you and your spouse by climbing independently up the stairs when each of you thought the other was watching him only to look over and see him cresting the top of the stairs unassisted and unmonitored. Install baby gate pronto.

Holding his hands as he learns to walk can put a strain on the back so be sure to stretch and bend your knees. A trip to the beach can yield benefits in learning to walk as well as general fun playing in the sand

though when he eats some sand, it will put an end to the day as curious baby turns into grumpy baby.

He will now largely be feeding himself with his hands and it’s especially fun to watch him double fist peanut butter pancakes. If done when he’s tired, there’s the added benefit of rubbing peanut butter all over his face. Have fun getting that cleaned up with your tired caveman.

He continues to enjoy reading books and especially likes the ones with flaps or slides that he can pull in and out. Sandra Boynton books have been favorites as well as the Peekaboo book series. If reading paper page books vs. board books, hold the book strategically since eager reader, page turning hands can render the paper worse for the wear. 

Ear tubes make a big difference in the number of ear infections though you and he are still subject to the sickness of the week at daycare.
 

While much of his communication the past 16 months has been related to expressing his many needs, it will warm your heart when he crawls over to you, says your name, and wants you to pick him up just because he’s excited to see you. With so many developmental milestones occurring during this time, celebrate each one and be careful about comparing your child to another. God has designed him uniquely and will help him grow and develop exactly as He has planned. He's a great blessing and your job is to love, protect, pray for, sing to, teach, play with and provide for him, give him your time, energy and attention, and facilitate an environment where he can learn, grow, have fun, and enjoy being a boy and your son.

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

Dad Files: Months 11 through 13: Dive Bombing, Windmill Arms, Words, and Introductory Walking

Baby will begin to stand with assistance, pull up on his own, cruise along a table, or walk with you holding his hands. Monitor stairs in the house closely because baby now possesses skills to climb. When holding him, baby will dive bomb by shifting his weight and dropping towards the desired target as he sees people, animals, or things that he wants. At other times, he will maintain a tight koala bear grip on you. 

The use of hands and arms has advanced so that they seem like windmill arms in turning pages on books, pushing you or unwanted food away and grabbing anything of interest in sight. As soon as objects he's playing with lose their appeal, he will promptly throw them on the floor.

With significant army crawling ability, baby will commando his way rapidly across the room, down the hall, or towards the stairs. Of particular focus for the attentive dad is preventing him from eating cat food since his fascination with it results in relentlessly making a bee line for the cat food bowl. It may be related to the relative similar size of Cheerios which is a favorite authorized food. All cats in the house must stay vigilant with his increased mobility in order to stay a step ahead and keep tails safe from curious little hands. If you've not begun baby proofing the house by now, that should become a high priority.

Baby will roll, flip, kick, thrust himself backward, and wiggle while you're trying to change diapers or clothing. You may develop new methods for accomplishing these tasks such as changing a diaper while holding onto baby's leg with him upside down, doing a handstand and pulling on the changing table while playing with a stuffed animal. You may also need to employ jui jitsu and/or judo moves to keep baby positioned so you can complete the necessary diapering and clothing duties.

As baby graduates to table food, lots of fun but messy experiments commence, spaghetti sauce and noodles everywhere, Cheerios or cracker crumbs covering baby and the surrounding floor, crushing watermelon with his bare hands and juice running down his face and all over clothing and table. For those items that he needs assistance eating, it may feel at times like a dinner theater with all the songs, funny noises, and facial expressions used to entertain and get him to open his mouth and eat. In order for you to get adequate nourishment yourself, you may need to employ the baby takes a bite, you take a bite method. At the first birthday, there will be the obligatory smash cake with baby crushing the cake and smearing icing all over himself, clothing, you, and generally anything within reach. As fun as the pictures can be, limiting baby's sugar intake is wise.

With his new teeth, seven at the moment, also comes the need for brushing them. This is another fun adventure as baby tries to lick or eat the toothpaste but with practice and a steady hand you can eventually get a version of clean teeth accompanied by a few sips of water.

From a new words perspective, baby will call most things "da" or "ah da di" despite efforts to the contrary by his mother. On rare occasions, he may say "ma ma." Other words include "ki ki" for kitty, occasionally "hi" or "hey," and "ba" which can refer to other objects or people. 

Baby's greater awareness of the world, who you are, and the existence of strangers will bring with it separation anxiety when you drop him off at day care. It can crush your heart to hear him cry as you hand him off or set him down and then leave the room. Most of the time, he'll be fine in a couple minutes and it's nothing that a handful of Cheerios can't solve from a caring day care provider. On the other side, reunification can be heart warming and really fun as baby recognizes and is excited to see you.

At the one year pediatrician checkup, the doctor said we'd filled out our full merit badge for illnesses over the past year including RSV, Covid, a new cold or cough on average every two weeks, 10 ear infections, and hand, foot and mouth. As a candidate for tubes, we decided to move forward with that recently and it seems to have made a big improvement especially from a crawling and walking skills perspective. 

You go through a lot with baby in a year both positive and challenging and it can be easy in the moment to forget that you're both making a lot of progress. When you're out and and about, you'll see other parents with babies that are younger than yours and you'll feel a certain kinship with them and also a growing bit of confidence of a seasoned veteran.

Story, singing, and prayer time each night becomes a special tradition and closes out a day nicely as you hand him off to God to watch over during the night.

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

Dad Files: Months 8 to 10 Clapping, Roly Poly, Babbling, Catch and Release Games

Baby will learn to exert his will in accepting or refusing food into the mouth when feeding with a spoon. This may be due to texture, taste, boredom, distraction, or he's just full. If baby sneezes while a spoonful is near his mouth, you may find yourself sprayed with lots of green stuff especially if the spoon includes vegetables. Baby food choices can be interesting with combinations of kale/chickpeas/bananas, pear/peas/spinach among others. I don't know that I'd eat these combinations especially as the first meal of the day but baby does pretty well and the fiber helps keep things moving regularly to the diaper.

Bibs are highly recommended and will result in greater laundry duties if not utilized. Personally, I enjoy the superhero bibs. A basket of baby's laundry can be deceptive in the size to time ratio required for laundry prep. Though small in size, almost all garments require attention with spraying dirty spots in advance of washing.

Baby's first two teeth came in on Christmas so he got the same wish as the two front teeth from the song. While teething can be uncomfortable for a few days, ear infections are pretty rough too with goop oozing out and baby not feeling good. It can appear that a candle factory has set up shop with the quantity of ear wax produced. Several trips to urgent care may be required if these occur on weekends or after the doctor's office closes.  

Lots of baby clapping "Yay baby" will occur at a variety of times. Babbling sounds include ah di di, ma ma ma, da da, ba ba ba, ah wa wa. This is in addition to laughing and loud velociraptor screams.

Fine motor skills will improve dramatically with baby grabbing everything within reach, playing with them 10 to 15 seconds then throwing them on the ground. This catch and release game should be monitored closely if in public so an errant ball doesn't roll under another restaurant guest's table or church attendee's pew across the aisle. Learning discreet ways of retrieving said objects will serve you well. A pro tip is to attach the toys using a clip to baby's clothing so they don't travel far and your retrieval work is reduced.

Baby will occasionally dance by popping his chest and moving up and down. 

Ambulatory activities include turning into a roly poly as he rolls back and forth across the room as well as belly crawling and trying to figure out reciprocal crawling. Baby will gain strength and the ability to stand up with assistance. As he learns to sit on his own, watch out if he flings himself backward. Positioning a pillow or soft surface behind him is helpful if you're not immediately beside him. 

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

Dad Files: Months 6 and 7 Solid Food, Sickness, Hand Control, and Holiday Travel

Tis the season...for RSV (Respiratory syncytial virus). As mentioned in a previous dad files edition, daycare is a great delivery mechanism for spreading sickness among children and their parents. RSV can be a serious illness in children and thankfully we got through it though it was rough for baby and me for about 10 days and we took a couple trips to urgent care between the two of us. Caring for a sick baby with a 102 degree fever yourself is not fun but you can get some good snuggles from baby if you're aware enough to enjoy them. Incidentally, sometimes healthcare providers are very helpful and recommend tools like the NozeBot which is fantastic at removing snot from the nasal passage. Other times, they may diagnose your child with a crack in his hiney.

Baby has developed much greater dexterity and control of his hands which can result in activities such as grabbing you by the throat while burping him implying "GIVE ME MORE MILK!," apprehending the hand sanitizer container while you're changing his diaper, and undoing his own diaper after you've put a new one on and are in the midst of re-clothing him. You will also want to be conscious of drawstrings on a hoodie or jacket because baby may not let go even when you put him down or hand him off and give you a good yank. The consumption of reading material during story time takes on new meaning as baby grabs pages, puts them in his mouth and chews on them. So far he's not "digested" any books yet.

As he moves beyond only consuming milk, the introduction of solid foods also introduces a change in the output to diaper. Solid food = solid poo. This can sometimes work in your favor with a less runny diaper but can also be very messy and smelly. During the past month's diaper changes I've been working on a song with the lyrics "got a dirty diaper if you know what I mean, got a dirty diaper and it needs to be clean." As baby masters sounds like blowing raspberries, he may do this with increasing frequency. Pray that it's not during church. During diaper changes, blowing raspberries are his way of mocking you...PPPPHTHHHTTT....heh heh heh you have to change another diaper ....PPPHHTTTHTHTT...heh heh heh I've got something else coming out right now.

Learning to feed baby with a spoon can be an adventure as he figures out how to maneuver his tongue. Sometimes he'll be very interested and get excited, kicking his legs and pounding his hands for more as he tries tasty foods. Other times he'll be totally uninterested and you'll resort to any manner of method to get food into him like pretending the spoon is an airplane, acting like you're eating the food yourself, making silly noises, or opening and closing your mouth repeatedly an inch from his face. Getting through a 2 ounce container of food can seem as daunting as trying to fill up a bathtub a spoonful at a time.

This high chair has fed 3 generations of children

I've heard it said that feeding a baby can be like trying to put toothpaste back into a toothpaste tube and it's an apt analogy. Bibs are highly recommended and will save you laundering time later on. Super hero bibs add an element of fun to meal time though baby may decide he wants to play with, pull off, or try to eat the bib. You will develop strategies like simply putting food on the bib or his hands since he's sticking them in his mouth anyway rather than letting you get a spoon in.

With holiday travel to visit family and friends, it behooves you to keep baby on schedule as close as possible. He can get over stimulated being passed from person to person coupled with long car rides and interrupted or no naps. After one event, baby was so tired that he fell deep asleep on the back seat of the car while I was changing him. All of these factors together can result in a very grumpy baby by the time the day is over. Remember, you're the parent and you get to choose what's best for baby.

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

Dad Files 5 Month Insights: Daycare, Carseats, Overnight Solo Parenting

Handing over your most precious person in the whole world for the first time to essentially a stranger at daycare and hoping they take care of him is challenging emotionally. Over time, you and baby will get to know the daycare workers and develop a relationship with them as they partner with you in his development. 

While you'd love for baby to never get sick, entering the halls of this institute of care is also germ central and will almost definitely result in a cough and cold within a few days of starting. There's nothing quite like seeing a booger encrusted classmate crawl towards your baby and reach out a slobber and snot filled hand to welcome him to the cold crew. Baby will subsequently have essentially a continuous cold and cough for the next few months. 

Listening to your baby coughing and sneezing while you can't do anything about it is hard. Boogie Wipes will become your new friend in the next weeks and months. You too may share in the new colds passed along from baby as he coughs or sneezes in your face. On the bright side, baby should have a rock solid immune system by the time he starts kindergarten.

As you take on the responsibility of drop off and pick up from daycare, time should be allotted to get baby dressed, bottles prepped and labeled, extra clothing changes, and a well stocked diaper bag plus some extra margin as baby requires. Don't be late for pick up; they're strict about that cutoff time and charge by the minute if you're late. 

If you're heading to the office following drop off, you'll want to be especially careful to dodge any spit up that may occur between home and hand off and it wouldn't hurt to keep a change of clothes in the car just in case. This can easily occur on the pick up side as well especially if they've fed baby immediately prior to pick up. Also possible is a blow out that you realize when you first smell then feel the sticky wetness on your own clothing as the transmission from baby to you occurs while walking to the car.

Sometimes you may split drop off and pickup responsibilities with your spouse. If you only have one car seat, you'll want to coordinate in advance to not get caught without the seat. It's a surprise if your wife leaves before you with the car seat but you are dropping baby off at daycare. Hope that you can get some work done at home because you're not going anywhere till she returns to trade off the car seat. Alternatively, if you leave with car seat but not baby and she is in charge of baby, you may get a call shortly into the work day resulting in a return home to trade off car seat. 

The first multi night solo parenting experience will make you appreciate single parents and the challenges they go through even more with the weight of all responsibilities and care taking falling fully on you. You will be very thankful when your wife returns home.

Baby will increasingly smile, laugh, babble, and explore introductory motions towards crawling as he gets stronger with lots of tummy time sessions. You can have fun baby sound conversations with him even if neither of you use a distinguishable language. Laughing with him is also a joyful experience for all involved. 

He will begin watching you from across the room and pay close attention to things of interest like the milk bottle or favorite toys. You may attempt feeding baby rice cereal or other foods like sweet potatoes. It's an experience as baby learns about spoons and how to get food down the hatch rather than spiting it out on clothing and generally all over his face.

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

Dad Files 4 month Insights: Slobber, New Sounds, and Paternity Leave

In addition to baby advocating loudly for more milk, around nap time, or in conjunction with a diaper change, he will begin to make new sounds. One of these includes blowing raspberries (or flatulent sounds proceeding from the mouth for those unfamiliar). Bonding with dad over impolite sounds begins at this age and may continue, peaking around the age of middle school. 

Another fun sound is baby making new quacking noises similar to The Count on Sesame Street. 3 clothing changes per day ah ah ah...4 naps...ah ah ah...6 bottles of milk ah ah ah....8 diaper changes ah ah ah.

Baby will increasingly put fingers, whole hands, and pretty much anything he can reach in his mouth and baptize them with saliva. Along with copious amounts of slobber, baby will increasingly spit up both at meal time and at random intervals. This may require adjustments to slow pace of feeding, quantity, or frequency. Consequently, baby may require additional wardrobe changes throughout the day. 

Bath time is also fun as baby learns about the water and splashes around. An extra bonus is if he lets a poop slide right in the middle of bath time or alternatively contributes bubbles to the water that when popped leave behind a smelly aroma.  

With bright eyed excitement at new discoveries, joyful laughing, and kicking his legs simultaneously I've loved watching as he learns more about the world. It's a lot of fun especially when he's not yelling at you. 

Over the past 6 weeks, I had the privilege of taking paternity leave and staying home with him. It definitely gave me an increased appreciation for full time stay at home parents as well as single parents. There are lots of great parts but also lots of challenging and tiring parts. It's possible to get things done during the day but you need to be very intentional about planning out the day. With awake and sleep cycles running every 3 hours, you need to constantly be planning the next session as well as getting anything done like house work, exercise, nap, paying bills, or even a little down time. 

I totally understand how someone could go all day or even multiple days in the same clothes or without showering. On the days that were the most successful, I had a goals list for the day and priorities which could be tackled similar to a regular work day. Of course, baby can totally derail that plan with plans of his own. I think it's also a good idea for stay at home parents to purposefully connect with others outside the home since it can be exhausting and isolating fulfilling need after need day after day without adult interaction. 

All in all, I'm grateful that the company I work for introduced this benefit for dads and that I was able to invest focused time in him over the past month and a half. 

I've also been finishing up a song that I wrote for him and hope to post a version of it soon so stay tuned!

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

Dad Files: 3 Month Insights: Smiles, Swaddles, Spit Up, and Types of Cries

If baby’s other parent discovers a blowout and hands baby to you for cleanup, you are fully entitled to call foul and reject the handoff. Bonus points to you if you graciously overlook this violation of courtesy and endeavor on restoring baby to cleanliness.

Sometimes there are blowouts requiring both parents in order to properly change and clean baby. These involve fluids and poop covering essentially all parts of baby and a subsequent bath is recommended. No judgment if you opt for throwing away clothing rather than endeavoring to clean it.

By now you will begin to recognize meanings of various cries whether hungry, tired, in need of a diaper change, sick, gassy, hurt, or generally disagreeable to the current situation. Volume, tone, and length all play a part with tremolo vibrato crying reserved for the especially distraught times and commonly associated with the car alarm cry. The quicker you recognize these and take action where appropriate the better for all involved.

When you get fussy baby down for a nap and simply desire the same for yourself he will likely cry out just as you cross the sleep threshold. He may more or less get a full nap in but you will need to resign yourself to a few micro sleeps.

Increased frequency of smiles, snuggles, and baby’s recognition of you are tangible dividends for the hard work so far and make all those dirty diapers, interrupted or reduced sleep, and yelling/crying sessions more tolerable and worthwhile.

Holding baby aloft and zooming around like an airplane immediately following feeding, while fun, runs the risk of a cascade of spit up flowing down and covering anything underneath. Subsequent clothing change for you will be necessary. On the positive side, baby’s expulsion may miss his clothing entirely and allow him to soldier on in current attire. Needless to say, less aerial play options are recommended until adequate digestion time has passed.

Baby’s hair will have grown a fair amount over the past three months though a bald spot may develop in the back when he shakes head from side to side while laying down. 

When switching to zip up swaddles, baby may look like a whale flapping it’s tail when kicking or exercising legs. This is also observed if carrying while in swaddle with squirming baby resembling a flip flopping fish. Hold on tight!

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew 

Dad Files: 2 Month Insights: Blowouts, Booger Picking, and Growing Strength

Baby will exhibit increasing strength. If you are doing skin to skin and have hair on your chest, you may consider shaving it or baby will rip it out by the fistful. With increasing strength, baby will also frequently break out of swaddles making you wonder whether he will pursue a career in escape artistry or strongman competitions in the future. This will heighten vigilance in proper swaddle technique particularly when desiring sleep. Baby’s head will remind you of a bobble head as he builds neck strength. Recoil in conjunction with burps may surprise you with increasing power.

When you arrive home from work, your spouse will hand him off after a day of fussiness so she can have a break. It may seem that all the baby is interested in when you get home is screaming at you especially if you’ve had a hard and stressful day at work. You will do anything possible to get him to go to sleep including beatboxing while assisting him with interpretive dance, bicep curls and triceps extensions with baby, tummy time, bouncing on knee, singing lullabies, whistling classical music, yelling back at baby (not effective), praying for relief, holding baby tightly, rocking baby, rubbing baby’s back, walking lap after lap around the house with baby, feeding, burping, changing diaper, changing diaper again, taking baby on walks outside, and anything else your sleep deprived mind comes up with.

You may sing popular songs on the radio to baby, worship songs, or even revert to your own childhood nursery singalongs. What comes out in your most desperate sleep deprived times digs deep to the core of your being.

If you keep baby with you during a church service, he may make joyful noises unto the Lord at inappropriate times. This will give you the opportunity to better acquaint yourself with the halls and parking lot of the church with baby while your spouse completes the service independently.

Doctors and nurses will poke, prod, and stick baby at checkups. You will need to take on faith that it is for baby’s long term good because short term will likely increase fussiness and screaming sessions.

A constipated baby will make you miss all those number 2 diaper changes. You will pray fervently for the bowels to resume normal function and with every passing of gas compulsively check diaper for poop. Once a juicy one finally comes to fruition, you will rejoice with songs of praise and thanksgiving.

On the other side of the spectrum, you will sometimes wonder if there is an immediate path from mouth to diaper and whether skipping the baby and pouring milk directly on the diaper would be more efficient.

The first public bathroom diaper change is an adventure. By this time you should be fairly experienced in diaper changes but the road game aspect adds a whole other dimension. If there are others in the bathroom, it can almost take on a public performance element. For my first one at Olive Garden, it was a major blowout with runny brown poo pudding covering all of baby’s lower half and exceeded the bounds of the diaper traveling half way up his back calling into question the wisdom of putting the onesie back on. He did well for most of the process with only three other patrons passing through until at the end the whaaaaaa alarm started going off and I was frantically rushing to avoid full on nuclear meltdown echoing through the bathroom chamber. I took baby back to the table with just a diaper on and with a harried look in my eye handed him off to my wife and went to get a new change of clothing from the car. Incidentally, my personal opinion is that just a diaper is a viable wardrobe choice.

Blowouts while traveling in the car will most likely be discovered as you are arriving for an event making an on time arrival shift to tardiness and a very messy cleanup in the backseat of the car. Probably in the range of a 12 wipe cleanup. You should always have a backup change of clothes for both baby and you. Woe to you if you don't take precautions.

You may never have picked someone else’s nose before. This likely will change. While snot sucking instruments can be helpful for the juicy ones, boogers on the dry side may need manual encouragement.

Keeping baby on a schedule and regular routines will benefit everyone involved. The feeding schedule in particular is similar to feeding a parking meter. You may skate by beyond the meter’s expiration but at the risk of a full throated rebuke from the pediatric parking attendant.

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew

Dad Files: Father's Day Reflection

Having children has been a long time desire and goal and one that I didn't know if I'd ever have the opportunity to experience. I'm so thankful that God has blessed my wife and I with Joshua. On my first Father's day as a father, I have a new appreciation for the tremendous sacrifices that parents go through in order to raise children and have an increased respect for anyone who has brought up kids. Even though it can be really hard in the middle of sleep deprivation, night feedings, countless diaper changes, or when he just won't stop crying, I'm still grateful for the opportunity to be his father. 

Before he was born, I was nervous about the many new things to learn, the weight of the responsibility, and having very little experience with babies. Since he was born, I feel much better about the basic skills and have a lot more confidence in taking care of him. 

There is still much to learn but I've enjoyed the fun parts so far and am so appreciative to have my wife as a partner in the journey. I'm beginning to understand what it means to have unconditional love for a child. It only scratches the surface of God's love for us but there are many parallels between a parent and child relationship. I want him to be happy, safe, healthy, protected, provided for, well fed, rested, and to experience all the goodness that life has to offer.

As I think about his future, I pray that he will walk with and follow Jesus all the days of his life. That he will be filled with God's love and joy and show kindness to others. That he will be strong and healthy, smart and wise. That the Holy Spirit will empower him and guide him to do great things and to encourage others to pursue relationship with God. That God's angels will watch over and protect him. I pray for the girl he'll one day marry that God will watch over and protect her and give her parents wisdom in raising her. That she will love the Lord and that God will bring them together in His timing and bless their relationship. 

I don't know what the journey of fatherhood has in store but I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to be Joshua's dad, to love him and invest in his life, and pray that God will give me the strength and wisdom to do it well.

In pursuit of His best,

Andrew